DEALING WITH THE PAST . . . The others in the group (including our communist non-guide) were solemn as two old veterans stood in remembrance of those who had fallen in battle and paid the ultimate sacrifice for freedom. The physical wounds, disabilities and emotional scars I still wear. I knew that I was meant to be there at that time even though it was 28 years on. I felt very much a pilgrim at Long Tan. Allan Long Tan memorial and I both expressed a sense of eeriness about the place. You could sense the conflict of the battle, the cries of anguish, the last tones of humanity as death overtook many. There was a sense of desolation about the place - as the life and death struggle was fought out. Many hundreds had died at Long Tan in the surrounding area of where we stood. I remember crying out , "none should perish!" Both Allan and I felt it difficult to stay longer than 30 minutes at the Long Tan Memorial - it was too moving, brought back too many memories, too painful. The memories were vivid of battles fought in other locations - mates who had died, been wounded - not seen for many years. All the things you did that you wished you hadn't when you were young and bullet proof. Events that could never be changed. The memories will remain, but the pain has lessened. I never want the memories to go. Amongst them there are good and bad. The good I always want to attach to the joy of the moment. The bad I can handle as the pain lessens. near the memorial at Long Tan. We left Long Tan and headed for Nui Dat. We had to drop our communist guide off at the police station along with the plaque (what a way to get tourist dollars!) We didn't even get a refund! What cheek! (It was probably their wage for the day.) We eventually found our way onto the main road into Nui Dat after stopping some communist soldiers for directions. You would have thought that they would have left it the way it was 28 years ago. One thing that struck me was the massive war cemetery outside Ba Ria for the Viet Cong. They are reported to still be bringing the remains of dead Viet Cong and NVA out of the scrub. I didn't feel called to stop and pay any respect - I felt a strong sense of contempt at the time. Later on I realised after talking to a Viet Cong we had a Coke with that they were just the same as us. …more…